Parenting an ADHD Teenager Through Exams

One thing I have realised through parenting an ADHD teenager is that there is very little guidance around exams and revision for neurodivergent children. Since writing my last post about burnout, exam season has been in full flow in our house, and we have now finally arrived at the point where Smiler only has one exam left to go!

I thought it might be helpful to write about our experience, especially with so many young people across the UK sitting exams at the moment.

As I wrote last time, the physical and emotional toll that the mock exams took on Smiler was something I really hadn’t anticipated. By the time Christmas came around, he was completely exhausted, and honestly, I didn’t know how he was going to pick himself up again to face the real exams a few months later.

But after giving him time and space to properly recover, he has completely blown us away.

The motivation and determination he has shown over the past few weeks has made me incredibly proud. Seeing him dedicate so much time and energy to studying has been a big thing, particularly because before his diagnosis, concentrating for sustained periods felt almost impossible for him.

I thought I would share some of the things that have helped us through this exam period, in case they help another family navigating exams with an ADHD teenager.

1. Medication

First of all, medication has been absolutely key for Smiler.

I completely appreciate that medication is a very personal decision, and not everyone chooses it or has access to it, but for us, it has been the scaffolding that Smiler needed in order to focus and sustain attention long enough to revise effectively.

I had really dreaded study leave - I couldn’t imagine how Smiler was going to consistently choose revision over playing golf (!) but he really has.

That said, we did put some structure around the days. We mostly treated revision like a school day, and once he felt he had worked enough during those hours, he was free to head out and do something else. Knowing that he could go and play a round of golf later in the afternoon often helped him push through the studying beforehand.

2. Dangling carrots

I make no apology for using incentives!

I have paid Smiler to study during exam leave, and having something tangible to work towards was a huge motivator for him. He has had his eye on some sports equipment for a while, so being able to put his revision money towards that gave him an immediate reward to focus on.

We also talked early on about where he might like to go for a celebration dinner after his final exam, and we have spent a lot of time talking about summer plans and holidays too.

Helping Smiler to visualise life after the exams seemed to really help keep him going.

3. Sleep and routine

One thing we have tried very hard to maintain throughout the exam leave is routine.

Despite the temptation to let him stay up later or sleep in, Smiler has kept to roughly his usual bedtime and school wake-up time throughout the revision period.

I really believe this has helped regulate both his mood and energy levels, and keeping some normality in place has felt important for all of us.

4. Nutrition

I have also become very conscious of nutrition during this period.

ADHD medication can suppress the appetite, which has been an ongoing challenge for Smiler, so having him at home has allowed me to make sure he is eating well throughout the day.

There is some evidence that regular protein-rich meals can help support more stable energy levels and may help medication feel more effective and consistent throughout the day.

So, for breakfast every morning, he has been having a huge bowl of full-fat Greek yoghurt topped with homemade granola packed with oats, nuts and seeds, plus berries, and for lunch I have been making him a cheese omelette.

It has definitely felt easier knowing that he is getting proper nutrition at home than relying on whatever he might have chosen from the school canteen!

5. Body doubling

I am very lucky that I work remotely, because I really think my presence at home has helped Smiler enormously.

“Body doubling” (essentially having another person nearby while completing tasks) is something many ADHDers find useful. Even if the other person is doing something totally separate, the accountability can really help with focus.

Smiler has done almost all of his revision at the dining table rather than upstairs in his bedroom, and I think being in a shared space helped keep him more on track too.

6. The Pomodoro technique

Short bursts of focus have worked far better for Smiler than attempting to sit for hours at a time.

He has often used a version of the Pomodoro technique, where he would work for around 30 minutes and then take a short 5 minute break before starting again.

I think this stopped revision from feeling endless and overwhelming.

During his breaks, he would often wander into the garden with his putter and practise golf shots for five minutes before coming back in again, which actually worked brilliantly as a mental reset.

Reflection

We now have a long wait until results day in August!

But regardless of what those pieces of paper say, we could not be prouder of how Smiler has approached these exams.

Not just because of the studying itself, but because of the resilience it has taken him to get here at all.

If you are currently supporting an ADHD teenager through exams, I hope some of these ideas might help in some small way.

And if things don’t look how you hoped right now, please know that you are not failing, and neither is your teenager.