Connecting the Dots
When I look back on our family’s ADHD journey with Smiler, I can see now that there were so many signs that could have helped us to connect the dots sooner. I wanted to share a few small reflections and practical tips that might help other parents who are somewhere along the same path.
Writing It All Down
In preparing for Smiler’s ADHD assessment, I started writing down everything I could remember from over the years - all the stories, challenges, and patterns that stood out (many of these things are inspiration for this blog!).
What surprised me was how quickly that list grew. It ran to several pages, even though I know I forgot plenty of things along the way. Seeing it all in black and white was a shock - it made it glaringly obvious that there were longstanding patterns we hadn’t recognised earlier.
Of course, it’s always easy with hindsight - when you’re in the thick of everyday life, it’s incredibly hard to step back and see the bigger picture. But if I could go back in time, I would start to write things down as a reference point.
Looking Back Through School Reports
Another helpful exercise was going through Smiler’s school reports in sequence. As part of the ADHD assessment process, we had to provide copies of his reports, and when we read them all together, it was striking how consistent the themes were from year to year.
I’ve written before about school not flagging concerns. But as parents, we could have noticed those recurring comments - the same strengths, the same struggles appearing again and again. Comparing reports from year to year is something I would now encourage every parent to do.
Understanding the ADHD Assessment Pathway
One thing we didn’t realise until much later is how the NHS ADHD assessment pathway actually works. As I understand it, for a child to be officially added to the waiting list, their screening questionnaire (completed with the CAMHS nurse) has to meet a certain threshold.
In hindsight, the fact that Smiler was referred onwards meant he likely met many of the criteria for diagnosis. While not every child who reaches that stage will receive a formal diagnosis, it was probably a sign that we should have started putting support in place right away.
Instead, cautious that he may not go on to get an official diagnosis, we kept the information about his referral mostly to ourselves. Aside from school, we didn’t really tell anyone else or change much at home. Knowing what I know now, I wish we had treated that stage as a clear signal to start putting some scaffolds and strategies in place to help him thrive sooner.