Finding Understanding
When you become a parent, friendships can start to look different. Much of your social life suddenly revolves around your child - playdates, birthday parties, meeting at the park. Getting to know other parents can form naturally through your child’s friendships, but often you don’t have much in common beyond the children.
These kinds of friendships are often more circumstantial than anything else - they grow out of convenience rather than shared understanding, so they don’t always provide the support I sometimes wish they could.
What I’ve come to realise is that true friends are the ones who lean in with curiosity, who care enough to ask how Smiler is doing, and who want to understand what ADHD means for him and for us as a family. They’re the ones who don’t brush off challenges with “all kids do that”, but listen, learn, and show empathy instead. Those kinds of friendships feel rare, and incredibly precious.
The Relief of Shared Experience
Something else I’ve discovered is how powerful it can be to connect with people who are walking a similar path. For so long, we felt isolated, like we were failing, and hid our invisible worries. But once Smiler began the assessment process and I tentatively mentioned it to others, I realised how many parents I already knew who were quietly navigating the same journey.
I remember sitting down for coffee with one school mum, who I’d never shared more than a “hello” with in passing. As I shared a stories about Smiler becoming overwhelmed in soft play, or the struggles with distractibility, she nodded knowingly and told me her child presents in the exact same way. Our conversation flowed so easily because there was no need to explain or justify, she simply understood. That recognition was a relief I hadn’t realised I needed, and out of that one conversation has grown a friendship that feels solid and sustaining.
It’s not about surrounding yourself with people who have identical experiences - every child and family is different. But there’s something deeply comforting about finding those who understand. The connection isn’t just about comparing struggles, it’s about feeling seen, understood, and less alone.